Don't waste a tear
Do you know some people that cry when they watch Bambi? Get emotional in church or concerts or other public venues when someone pulls on their heart strings? Well it aint me. Contrary to all the predictions, I didn't even cry at my daughter's wedding recently. Got close, but no cigar. And I wasn't attempting to hold anything in. I don't think of myself as a cold person. Maybe I'm emotionally impaired.
I tell you all this because I almost broke down, and I did have to hold it in while dining solo at a Quizno Subs in Orlando recently.
I'm at Quiznos by myself for two reasons: business road trip and turkey-bacon-guacamole (there're times I'd choose that $7 sub over a $25 dinner). There was a young guy, 18 year old kid probably, waiting for his dinner as I walked to the other end of the counter to order mine. I really didn't pay any attention to him because I was more focussed on whether I was going to add a bowl of soup to my program or maybe chips and a drink for a meal deal. It was only out of the corner of my eye that I noticed the kid walked with a limp.
Here my memory gets a little fuzzy but my next vision of the kid is him walking with his tray to pick a table just before I went to pick mine. He's got more than a limp. But he manages to find a spot, and he sits to enjoy his sandwich. Man, I hope I wasn't staring, but apparently I was cause I noticed a content, almost cheerful expression on his face.
The day had been quite good for me for being alone anyway. I share this only because I think it provides a clue to the feelings I experienced later at Quiznos. I'm quite content as a short-term loner on road trips because I have my computer, my books, and my work. This particular morning I enjoyed a grande coffee at a nearly empty Starbucks (most are at 6:15) as I read and tapped on my keyboard. My plan was to hang out here 'til just before 8 when I would leave for the Wekiwa Springs state park which would open in minutes.
Sometime I'm going to write a piece about the "mini vacation" that can be experienced in a park like this. It's a remarkable thing to be able to journey deep into the woods while only being 10 minutes from Starbucks. That's what I love so much about this place, and you probably know of a similar opportunity near you. At the end of a workday, or before, we can disappear into an adventure in the back country.
At the park, as soon as I got out of my chick magnet mini van, I saw four turkeys - you know the wild birds. They were at the edge of the parking lot scratching around for a little breakfast and none too concerned about the sexy vehicle that just approached. I grabbed my digital camera, snuck a little closer, and snapped a couple shots. At this point they did notice me, but rather than dart off, they really just walked away into the woods, kind of glaring at me as if to say "Yo Einstein - don't you know you're not supposed to get this close to wildlife?". I truly felt like an idiot.
With that memorable moment now over, I continued with the purpose of this trip - a trail run. A boardwalk and then path lead from the parking lot down to the springs. Rather than going all the way down to the springs, I veer off to the trail head and started what would be a 45 minute run. No less than a quarter mile into my adventure do I hear a loud rustling in the woods to my left. I stop and look, and looking back at me, through the brush and no more than 15 yards away, is a deer. If you've ever stopped a deer like this you know that they're pretty good at a staring contest. I've won these contests before as eventually, if you stay still, the deer realizes in her little brain that you're just a tree or something, and they walk away and go about their business. Today, the mosquitos started into me, so I lost, and went on with my run.
Not more than 100 yards later, as I'm trotting along the trail, another quite large deer bolts across the path less than 10 yards in front of me. I'm thinkin' if I'm a little farther along that path, this guy woulda taken me out. That was a rush! And that's the kind of stuff you can experience in a park (maybe that's my piece on mini vacations). So anyway I finish the run, jump in the springs, and while I could go on, let me wrap this up to say that I had an absolutely amazing time. As I walked back to the parking lot, I thanked God for my experience, my health, state parks, people who fund and manage state parks, and I truly felt blessed.
So back to Quiznos. I'm enjoying my oven roasted sub with fresh ingredients, and because I didn't bring in a book or the Death Star I'm able to pay more attention to the restaurant. And I'm thinkin' about the kid. Was he born this way? Was it an accident? Should I have picked a table closer so I could have started a conversation? I must admit I felt sorry for him. Though for all I know, he could be more at peace with his world than me as he definitely wasn't looking for any sympathy. In that moment I felt paralyzed. What should I do? What would Jesus do?
And then he got up to refill his drink. It was now that I realized just how disabled he was. It was a struggle for him to walk 20 feet and pour some Pepsi into a cup. His gait was so labored as his upper body swung forward and back with each step. When he got to the drink machine he had to lean on the counter with one arm and maneuver his cup and the dispenser with the other. He then walked back to his table, "bussed" his tray, and was out the door. It was then that that I almost lost it.
I wish I could have bought his dinner. I wish I could have learned his name. I wish I didn't take so much for granted. In those moments I felt so inadequate - that I'm not doing anything to help people like this. Why did God allow me to experience this? Was this brief encounter tied to that deer that crossed my path? A coincidence? You've heard the saying "a coincidence is God's way of remaining anonomous". I know that to be true.
And what am I going to do with it? At this point, I don't have an answer. I do have a deeper appreciation for the gifts he's given me. It's become my life mission to "lead people into healthy lifestyles and activities they can get excited about". But frankly, that's been driven by a profit motive. Which isn't a bad thing, but maybe God wants that mission to include people like I encountered at Quiznos. People who have no way of repaying anything I might be able to offer.
At this point I can only ramble on the keyboard so I'll close with this. Every one of us reading this is incredibly blessed. Whether we realize it or not. We have our health and we have each other. We have 24 hours each day, and we have the opportunity to invest them wisely. God, thank you for all my gifts. Forgive me when I take them for granted. Show me how you'd like me to share them.